I set out to do this countdown of the things I’ve learned in my twenties, however, God is somehow turning it into- A bunch of revelations I’m having after doing it wrong for 30 years. The lightbulb is finally coming on.
So many people feel defeated…so much of the time. We know the kind of change we’d like to see in ourselves, but we aren’t seeing it. We’d like to lose weight, or stop smoking or pray more or be nicer to people who aren’t nice to us. They are resolutions that we BEG God to change in us, but secretly don’t believe will ever change.
We hear stories of people suddenly leaving old lifestyles and radically changing for the better. And, granted, that does happen. But when it doesn’t for me, there is such a sense of hopelessness.
And hopelessness SUCKS!!!
Because, the “little” things aren’t really little at all. If a woman who hates her appearance, can even for ONE DAY, look in the mirror and choose to see beauty- THAT is a victory. If someone who gets angry easily can just ONE TIME go to God to calm them down rather than raging- that is a victory. God works in those little choices, in that “one time I did it right.”
The problem is that we brush those instances off. If I can’t do it all the time, then what good is it? Maybe we have to give ourselves permission to be little kids. If a child is being potty trained, they will have accidents all the time. But what do mom and dad do when baby first starts to use the potty? They CELEBRATE! Even if a couple hours later they mess themselves again.
We’re going to mess our pants!
I was driving in my car last night and had a realization about something rather big. And, no, my behavior isn’t going to instantly change. Maybe my beliefs won’t even change right away. But just realizing how I’ve been thinking wrong…THAT was a victory. So, I decided to celebrate. I wasn’t sure how to do that, so I just started yelling (sort of singing) a little ditty that was inspired by the amazing song from the movie Elf…
“I’m celebrating! I’m not sure how but I’m celebrating!”
It made me laugh.
But it also felt really, really right. Celebrating those things will look different for everyone. Maybe it’s just as simple as acknowledging that it wasn’t Nothing.
So, by-george, I’m going to water these little seeds. Cultivate the good I see in myself, and watch it grow into really big change.